What just arrived in my in box was addressed to "true Pennsylvanians."

If being born and living my entire life within 10 miles of Philadelphia City Hall makes me a "true Pennsylvanian," I am one of them. In fact I've written a couple of books (Pennsylvania Curiosities, Globe Pequot Press) about the Commonwealth and its idiosylvaniaosities. (We, Pennsylvanians, once fought a series of wars against Connecticut in the late 1700's called the Yankee-Pennamite Wars. Wilkes-Barre, a city settled by the Yankees from Connecticut, was burned to the ground by the Pennamites. "Yankee" was a word the original Dutch settlers in New Amsterdam (New York) gave to the English upon their arrival in Manhattan. In Dutch the word for "Johnny" is "Janque" with a "Y' sound for the "J" as in "Janque come lately.")

These mass emails are harmless most of the time. What offends me is the implied message that if I don't forward the blah-blah-blah to everyone I know, I am either unpatriotic or risking a catastrophe or unwilling to try to make someone smile. To which I want to shout, "Just shut the fuck up and let me decide who I want to send this to, if I want to send it anyone at all."

Curiously, it's never an original thought forwarded by the person who sent it. It's not a passionate deeply-held opinion. Usually, it's just some take-it-or-leave-it junky joke. So why do people send them? Why do they insist you send them to others? And why do they not care if what they want you to forward to everyone you know is, or is not, true.

Case in point: I got one of these popular " You know you are. . .(Jewish, Negro, Italian, Taliban, Human flesh eating cannibal) if. . .yada-yada-yada. The person who forwarded it t me described it as a Jeff Foxwothy comedy routine about Pennsylvania:

You know you live in live in Pennsylvania if . . .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in
Pennsylvania.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Philadelphia for the weekend,
you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may
live in Pennsylvania.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
may live in Pennsylvania.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may
live in Pennsylvania.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in
Pennsylvania.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
Pennsylvania friends & others, you definitely live in Pennsylvania

And if you really did that you're a jerk who doesn't live in Pennsylvania because these same jokes have been flying around cyberspace about New England, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota or any other northern state since Adam first had kittens.

Is it harmful? Does it matter? Is anyone hurt by all this?

Yeah. All of us. Each time a small lie is told in an effort to make a larger truth, it serves neither truth nor the people. My name is Rick Santorum, and I approved this message.