PROM NIGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A NIGHTMARE in my family. It all started in 1493 when my uncle, Juan Ponce DeLeon, got liquored up at his senior high school prom in Aragon -- theme "Queen Isabella is a Bee-ahtch" -- and woke up in the middle of the Atlantic somewhere west of the Azores on a ship captained by Cristobal Colon who kept saying, "I know India is just over the horizon."

Luckily still-young Ponce happened upon some refreshing waters in Florida and became known as the conquistador who discovered spring break.

Prom Night for the rest of the DeLeons thoughout history has been a story of travail. There was Edwin Deleon's disastrous "Fort Sumpter Is A Happening Place" in Charleston, S.C. in 1861 and Daniel DeLeon's ill-fated "I've been drinking but I ain't Wobbily" IWW prom in 1913. My father, Harry DeLeon, graduated from Northeast High School in 1928 with a banner over the auditorium at the spring dance that read, "Just Think. In Another Year We'll All Be Broke."

Then there was my Junior Prom at Lower Merion High School where I wore a white tuxedo jacket and on my way to pick up my date I stopped by a friend's house to show off my duds and happened to lean against a freshly painted door. A freshly painted green door. In a white tux. A year later we missed all but a half hour of my Senior Prom because we had dinner at a formerly famous restaurant (Kona Kai) on City Avenue and due to a flood in the kitchen we sat for hours and our food wasn't ready when we walked out at 10:30. The waiter followed us out insisting that we pay for the meal that was presented to us in doggie bags. And we paid.

So when our children walked out the door from their proms I was prepared for anything ranging from catastrophe to cataclysm. Molly's Senior Prom was Friday night. Do you remember the traffic jam across Philaldelphia on Friday? It was like the Perfect Gridlock. So who do you think went to King of Prussia to get their hair done on prom day? (Hint: Molly and her friends from Little Flower High School) And who do you think arrived home with 10 minutes to dress before the limo arrived a half hour before they had to be at the prom or they'd be locked out?

And who do you think was totally freaked out? (Hint: Not Molly.) And she looked gorgeous. Even with the green paint stain on her gown.