July 31, 2008

Ode to a Philadelphia lady

Ode to a Philadelphia lady

TIME IT WAS AND WHAT a time it was it was,
a time of innocence. a time of confidences.
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph. .
.Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you.

It was before the time of Jim Gardner or Larry Kane. Think Vince Leonard and Gunnar Back. I'm talking Professor Peabody and his Wayback Machine here when I talk about Philadelphia TV news in the era when a young Lena Horne lookalike named Edie Huggins arrived at Channel 10 when it was still called WCAU, the first CBS "O-and-O" (locally owned and operated network affiliate)and a legend named John Facenda was not only the top rated TV news anchor but the closest thing to the voice of God.

"Do have a good night. And a good day tomorrow. Good night, all." Facenda's nightly sign-off was like a benediction that it was safe to go to bed.

Into this relative family warmth of a TV news environment in 1966 arrived this drop dead gorgeous light skinned black woman with a silky baritone voice named Edie Huggins. I fell in love at first sight. I was 15 at the time. I don't even remember if I knew she was black at the time -- only rich people had color TVs -- but I do remember not caring when I found out she was black. Edie Huggins was a dish in any color in any language and at any age. She was my friend and I didn't even know she was sick until after she had died, which is exactly how she would have wanted it.

But it makes me mad because it leaves me without ever having told her how much I love her and what she meant to me. Which leaves me to tell you, which is even better because I won't end up crying when I describe the Edie I knew. Because the Edie I knew was exactly like every description of her by everyone who knew her. Edie Huggins was a mench, a guy, a constant loving force always fun to be around, never a prima donna. She labored like a worker bee with the benevolent elegance of a queen. To be in her company, even briefly, was like being invited inside the hive . I was proud to be inside Edie Huggins hive.

Of course this required me to remember every conversation we ever had the next time we met. I don't know who was having senior moments first, but Eddie would begin a conversation with me halfway through one we had three weeks ago. She reminded me of my mother. In fact, that's exactly who she reminds me of. My mother. And my Aunt Jane and my Aunt Maggie, who both worked for WCAU during the '60's, which is how I got me and my friends on the Pixanne Show when I was 12 (Jane Norman -=- talk about hot!) And later in my teens to meet Edie Huggins, who was then as she was the last time I saw her.

I've been looking for words to describe Edie, who died at the age of 72 after a long battle with lung cancer, and I keep coming back to elegant. Edie was elegant in the best sense of the word. And having written that, I had to look up the word elegant in the dictionary, just to make sure. Elegant in the dictionary reads like this, it comes from the Latin and French words meaning "to choose":

"1, Characterized by dignified richness and grace, as of design, dress, style, etc. ; luxurious or opulent in a restrained tasteful manner 2, characterized by a sense of propriety or refinement, impressively fastidious in manners and taste, 3, Marked by concision, incisiveness, ingenuity; cleverly apt and simple."

There's not a word in that definition that doesn't ring like the bell of truth with Edie.

I'm writing this for people who know Edie Huggins. I could go through her history, through her "importance" of being the first black on-air TV newswoman at Channel 10, making her the second on-air black newswoman in Philadelphia after Trudy Haynes at Channel 3, but that all seems so stupid now. Edie knew exactly what she was through most of her career -- lucky! -- and she'd be the first to tell you so.

She was lucky to be so lovely. She was lucky to be so gifted. And she was lucky to have pipes like a female Jack Jones, another young black Philadelphian who studied at the altar of John Facenda. Edie worked for every break she got after her first break. But she always looked at herself in Christian awe. She knew she was lucky to understand and appreciate how lucky she was. To the end of her days she worked to earn that.

I never heard Edie Huggnis complain. I know that should sound impossible, especially for someone at Channel 10, and I worked with her at Channel 10 in the mid-to-late 90's when Edie's role was being reduced almost hourly. But she never complained. As my Channel 10 technician friend Al, a Yankee's fan, would comment about a batter who got whacked on the elbow by a fastball inside, "And he didn't rub."

Edie could be full of intrigue and observations about the hell in-a-handbasket nature of the TV news business, but she never complained about her own situation. She never rubbed. She shared information but not despair. Edie endured with such grace, such warmth, such ready love, such effortless elegence. But as God as my witness, I know Edie is popping a cork over The Inquirer unsing the words "dogged" in the headline above her obit.

Check it out in the photo at the top of this column. The woman I have just described was reduced in the failing art of headline writing (no easy task -- but tell me they couldn't have done better that this one column headline over Edie's photo?) :

A versatile,
dogged,
endearing
NBC10 face

And I know exactly what Edie and my mother are buzzing about up there right now: "That wouldn't have happened at The Inquirer when Clark was there."

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Either way he looks wired

Either way he looks wired

AT FIRST I COULDN'T tell whether this movie poster for Step Brothers on a bus kiosk on Broad Street near Pine had been doctored by some wag to have John C. Reilly saying, "Deaf" or Dcaf" I finally decided on the latter when I realized that a Starbucks coffee shop stands on the opposite corner of Pine Street. Come to think of it, it looks like Will Ferrell should go a little latte on the caffeine as well.

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Lessons of a very bad year in Philadelphia

Lessons of a very bad year in Philadelphia

IMAGINE A REAL LIFE ATTACK of an unknown epidemic that devours human life like a 28 Days or a Dawn of the Dead zombie movie. Philadelphia has the distinction of being the birthplace of Legionaires Disease, named for the unknown pneumonia-like disease that broke out during the Pennsylvania American Legion Convention at the Bellevue Straford Hotel in July 1976 during the Bicentennial celebration. The city was in a near panic over these sudden and inexplicable deaths, which months later had killed 31 people.

Now imagine how we would react today to a disease that would kill 150,000 of us in three months.

As July became August in the year 1793, Philadelphia was the capital of the United States of America when people started dying suddenly and horribly from a new disease. The most famous physician in the city, Dr. Benjamin Rush, would be the first to identify the epidemic as, "Bilious remitting Yellow Fever," a name referring to the ghastly jaundiced color so many victims experienced during the end phase of the disease, which frequently left victims dying in a pool of black vomit and and their own malodorous bodily waste. So hideous were these deathbed scenes that many relatives simply abandoned afflicted family members and fled the city in terror and shame.

Within a matter of weeks Philadelphia was a ghost town. Members of Congress were among the first to flee.

Five thousand people died in Philadelphia between August and November -- one tenth of the population, the equivalent of 150,000 people today. People feared being infected by strangers. No one knew what caused the disease (mosquitoes). Into this vortex of fear, cowardice and abandonment emerged a Committee of Twelve citizens, most of them trademen "from the middle walks of life" (barrelmakers, printers, merchants) and at least one future multi-millionaire (French born Stephen Girard) who along with Dr. Rush and free black religious leaders like Richard Allen and Absolom Jones, tended to the sick, dying and dead.

When President George Washington returned on horseback into the nation's capital city during the first week in November 1793 he found a suprisingly clean and orderly Philadelphia, a town that had survived a devastating, almost apocalyptic plague. This was a city that had given up on itself, from the top down, but it found its courage to survive and its will to do what must be done through the efforts of ordinary citizens who, from the bottom up, said no to fear, and yes to the future of the Philadelphia they loved. And let that always be a lesson to us living 215 years later.

Don't panic.


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July 21, 2008

The Cause of Hipster Replacements

The Cause of Hipster Replacements

I'M SO FAR PAST HIP that I've had a hipster replacement. That's a middle age joke. And once you have to explain a joke the joke no longer exists. It becomes a duty. Hipsters never explain. Hipster replacements learn to share. Aging hipsters end up like Comic Book Guy in the Simpsons. Over inflated and over the top. A paradigm of ridiculousness. A narrow mind exposed for its failure to engage the rest of the world with an honest gaze.

Actually, I don't run into that many tragically cool hipsters as I did a few years back. You know, back when guys with hair started shaving their heads. The pioneers of that bald chic hair style had a certain badass cachet about them, almost like they were banditos sneering at the well coiffed: "Follicles? We don' need no steenking FOLLICLES!" Then there was the whole rockabilly thing going on with guys in Elvis pompadors wearing starched blue jeans with the cuffs turned up and chains on their wallets attached to their belt loops.

I suppose that's one of the definitions of the hipster dress code. There's got to be an implicit defiance manifested in what they choose to wear. It can be subtle, it can be outrageous, but it is instantly recognizable as hip. Whenever I wear anything self consciously hip I just end up looking dopey. For instance, as a way to flout convention I'll wear black socks with sandals. Believe it or not, it's comfortable. But in the process I come off looking not to much defiant as like a middle aged man who doesn't know any better than to wear black socks with sandals.

Clearly hipsters don't have families, or if they do their kids are too young to comment on what mom and dad choose to wear. Nothing can eviscerate a sense of being cool faster than a teenage son or daughter laughing at their parents clothes. And you'd think that even parents with no pretense to hipness would be beyond the pale of mockery by teenage boys in baggy pants three times their rightful size, "shorts" that reach their socks. The only comfort to those of us who underwent hipster replacement is that one day, if there a just god, these kids will realize how totally nerdy they looked dressed like that.

This will happen about the time that all the scantily clad young women today start wearing tops they can tuck in their pants to avoid revealing nasty tatoos that seemed like such a good idea after their third vodka and Red Bull.

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July 16, 2008

We're having a heatwave? Jesus H. Christ . .

We're having a heatwave? Jesus H. Christ  . .

I CAN'T GET THE H in Jesus H. Christ. Is it for Hebrew or Harry or Hell? Why do we say Jesus H. Christ?. I haven't a clue. And I know if I Google it I will find information if not an answer. But riff with me now, Jesus H. Christ. What's the H?

Heatwave? Possibly. Jesus Heatwave Christ. Yeah, that works. Sorta. Unless you know where the heatwave comes from. Her.

Marilyn in the Seven Year Itch feeling the coolwave of a passing subway underneath. Her flouncy white dress flying from below as she sexily tries to keep it down. "We're having a heatwave. A tropical. tropical heatwave. . ." Marilyn coos in a different movie.

This is a pretty hot statue, don't you think? Well, not a statue but a big perfect plastic corsage. And it stands in the garden of the Ellen Powell Tiberino Museum with Jesus H. Christ, the Norma Jean of Christendom., all around her. You've gotta see this place. Which I realize as I write this, is exactly what I want to say. You gotta see this place.

Marilyn shares space with some amazing art I won't try to explain. Ok, how 'bout this: Imagine an entire house from the outside made of artwork rather than gingerbread and candy. That's the setting for the Tiberino Musuem. As for the Tiberinos themseves, expect mystery and mischief in their answers.

I don't even know if I want you to meet these people. But if you do, don't tell'um who sent you. They'll know.

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July 14, 2008

We few. We happy few. We band of whack jobs.

We few.  We happy few.  We band of whack jobs.

AND WHAT A MERRY BAND WE WERE. I'm talking about the Philadelphia Inquirer but I can't think about The Inquirer without thinking of Whitemarsh Rugby Football Club. What I learned from both will fill a book some day. But for now let me kvell for having been part of both organizations in their prime. We were young once, and soldiers. And we fought the good fight . Both at the Inquirer and Whitemarsh.

Oddly, when I played for Whitemarsh I hated the name Philadelphia. Me, Mr. Philadelphia, hated the name Philadelphia. Because that Philadelphia was the name of our archrivals, the most dominant rugby club in the region -- the Evening Bulletin.

Forgive me, I'm having a senior moment, I meant to say Philadelphia RFC. The Evening Bulletin was the name of the most dominant newspaper in the city when I joined The Philadelphia Inquirer in 1972 when I was already a three year veteran of Whitemarsh RFC . Over the years I used to show up at work at the newspaper with so many rugby stitches from game day or practice that the guys in the photo department started calling me zipperhead. I don't mean to boast, but they had more than a hundred reasons to call me that.

And that was just on the face. Rugby scars mark my body from fingers to toes. Take my knees. . . please. And all of these injuries were suffered while working as a reporter or daily columnist at the Philadelphia Inquirer. Which makes me proud to this day. Why? Because I never took a sick day off from the Inquirer because of some rugby wound unless I was in the hospital.

I find some honor in that. I told you I was a whack job.

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July 13, 2008

He ain't heavy, he's my frog

He ain't heavy, he's my frog

I WISH THIS CURSE on you. I wish that someday you'll have a boss you love so much that 36 years after you met him and 18 years after you called him boss, which you never did because everyone called him Gene, I wish you the joy of seeing your Gene after all those years. This is my Gene. Everyone calls him the frog because, well, look at him. I'm the toothy one.

I love this picture from last night. I handed Dale Mezzacapa my camera and asked her to get a pal shot of me and Gene. And don't we look great. Hey, hey. If we appear to be preternaturally younger than our ages it's because, yes.

Amazing Gene. How sweet the sound. I won't say he saved a wretch like me but he made me a believer. And this was back in the day when believing in something mattered in journalsim. It was a great time to be a newspaper man and woman. The values of everything were challenged daily, in the paper and in the newsroom.

This was in 1972 when Gene Roberts replaced John McMullen as executive editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer, where I had been hired the month before. Roberts replacing McMullen was like John XXIII succeeding Pius XII. The windows of the Vatican were open and the dust was swirling, even sort of darting side to side, kind of zigging and, you know, oozing. Gene Roberts communicated like a Buddah . Not only did we get it, we couldn't even explain it to each other without quoting him . I have never heard anyone explain the philosophy of journalsim that we all embraced without a little red book quote from Chairman Gene.

"News doesn't always break," Gene said. "Sometimes it oozes." Kind of like the Iraq war. I can't imagine how differently a Gene Roberts Inquirer would be covering the war. We'll never know. But unlike most editors today, Gene Roberts had actually covered the long stupid war the United States was involved with at the time. Gene rode in helicopters in Vietnam covering the war for the New York Times. Four years later he was the editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Nice.

I apologize to readers who have no idea what the heck I'm talking about but are oddly facisnated to have read this far. I'm coming back from a Philadelphia Inquirer Reunion at Mermaid Lake in Whitpain Township Montgomery County for those of us who worked for Gene Roberts at the Inquirer during his golden era, 1972-1990. Everybody showed up. There were three, maybe four hundred people. All the usual supects and a surprisng number of just regular folks who were proud to have been part of something as important and cool as the Inky back in the day.

And it was our day. And we were all there. And it was great.

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July 11, 2008

I got your fist bump right here, pal

I got your fist bump right here, pal

YA NEVER KNOW. I've been "fist bumping" for more than a decade and I never knew what it was called until Michelle Obama shared kuncks with her husband and it became a terrorist act according to Fox News, which has become so full of shit it would be merely comical if it weren't so stupid. Imagine grown men and women in America telling other Americans that a knuckle to knuckle salute is equivalent to a Taliban manifesto. "Yes, we will BURY the infidel in his own entrails and those of his children."

As I said, I've been a sleeper cell fist bumper since the early '90's when fist bumping replaced the high five as a congratulatory gesture among members of an English darts team after a teammate scored a ton in 301 or closed crucial numbers in Cricket. For the longest time I thought a fist bump was a darts thing.

Years later it has become the gold standard of hip salutes for a job well done by everyone from golf to tennis to baseball to pool to a joke well told. There's a photo on the internet of President George Bush the Better giving a fist bump to a Russian tennis player, just like that Commie-loving Rocky Balboa bumping gloves with that Russkie Ivan Drago in Rocky IV.

But in the Year of Our Lord 2008, the nimrods at Fox pull out the word "terrorism" to describe what the House UnAmerican Activities Commiteee would have described the new dance called "the twist."

My anger at this has nothing to do with loyalty toward Michelle or Barack Obama. It has to do with how dumb do the people at Fox think the American people are? What idiot at Fox thought a fist bump was a terrorist signal, and what other idiots at Fox allowed it to be reported as such.

It reminds me of 1976, the American Bicentennial celebration, when the Queen of England, on behalf of the British people, presented the United States with a much larger Liberty Bell cast in the same Whitechapel Foundry in London as the original in 1752. In a pre-9/11 world where right-wing fundamentalist morons had not taken over the airwaves, there was a right-wing Christian fundamentalist preacher named Carl McIntire who had a pirate radio station at sea broadcasting a warning that Britain's Liberty Bell gift contained a Communist slogan in raised letters on the bell. The Communist slogan was, "Let Freedom Ring."

The fact that "Let freedom ring" happens to be the final words of the patriotic American song, "My County 'Tis of Thee." failed to disuade McIntire from his relentless campaign against the bell, which still stands in the bell tower atop the original Independence National Historical Park Visitors Center at 3rd and Chestnut. I guess the difference between then and now is that everyone knew Carl McIntire was a fringe-level crackpot. Whereas Fox News is a mainstream daily reality.

So I'll do what Fox does, present both sides and let you the reader decide:

Michelle Obama's fist bump: Secret Terrorist Code or Desperate Dumbass Right Wing Attack?

And, yes, I trust the judgement of a fully informed American people.

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July 08, 2008

Keeping it real (and wrong) at Independence Hall

Keeping it real (and wrong) at Independence Hall

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW that during the very week that I became a tour guide for hire in the City of Philadelphia, all heck would break loose in the Philadelphia tour guide industry around Independence Hall. At issue is a bill passed by City Council and signed into law in April by Mayor Nutter requiring tour guides to pass a test (and buy a license) before they are allowed to tell tourists that the Benjamin Franklin statue atop City Hall Tower is the largest statue, made entirely of cheese, on top of any inhabited manmade structure east of Wisconsin. Most Philadelphia tour guides would tell a different story, but at issue here is not historical accuracy, but the right to be cheesy.

Three veteran tour guides filed a lawsuit last Wednesday in federal court to overturn the new ordinance scheduled to go into effect in October. Their arguement: "What are you, nuts? You want to stifle free speech in the shadow of the building that gave us Freedom of Speech? And Religion? And Peaceable Assembly? And of the Press?" Let's face it, their arguement is richer in meaning and consequence than the goal of the tour guide testing law. If there is anything I have learned in my recent tour-related excursions around Independence Mall, it is that the First Amendment grants any and every American the right to be both obvious and wrong, about God, about politics, about who killed Officer Daniel Faulkner.If being wrong in America was a criminal activity, Rush Limbaugh would be Al Capone. If lying to your face were a crime in America, George Bush would be serving eight years somewhere other than the White House. How bout we pass a law to license presidents instead of tour guides? Oh, that's right. That would be unconstitutional.

In Friday's Inquirer editorial cartoonist Tony Auth showed a horse drawn carriage driver telling a bewildered tourist family, "On the right, Ben Franklin's house where he lived with his wife Betsy Ross. . ." which of course was a marriage featured on the front page of that day's newspaper, a real marriage of real people (Ralph Archbold and Linda Wilde) pretending to be make believe people and officiated the night before by Mayor Nutter in front of Independence Hall. As Tony's caption ends, "Is this a great country or what? Hey, you can't make this stuff up." Not like I made up that cheese statue of Ben Franklin atop City Hall. Every tour guide knows that's Frank Rizzo on a bad hat day.

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