JUST ABOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE -- at least since I learned to read newspapers -- I've thought everyone in Philadelphia had tuberculosis. Whenever I read a story on the sports pages, especially in out-of-town newspapers, I saw Philadelphians described as "lung-suffering sports fans."

I always thought this was unfair. If everyone in Philadelphia had TB, emphysema or any number of respiratory ailments, how could we yell so freakin' loudly and continuously after all these years. Then I wiped my glasses clean and realized that what these writers were saying was that Philadelphia sports fans are "long suffering."

Well, DUH! Who don't know that? Especially us. I was thinking that as I watched with pride a stadium full of Philadelphia sports fans waving toweles until almost two in the morning yesterday. In Los Angeles they would have been gone hours earlier. What I loved about the crowd I saw -- on TV -- was that I recognized my city. I recognized the longing and the suffering. And the longing for the suffering to be over. Oh brother, whereart thou, Whitey? You should be here to see this.

The Phillies are going to win the World Series. Again. If God has a conscience. I also noticed how young the crowd was. Tickets for this game cost a small fortune and yet there were thousands of kids in the stands learning how to be Philadelphia fans.

The Tampa Bay Rays are a talented and respectful baseball team. Rays manager Joe Maddon required his players to wear khakis and dress jackets on their plane ride from Florida. "Going to Philadelphia, it's a preppy kind of situation," Maddon said. "I just thought I'd give the guys a taste of that." So why did preppy Philadelphia sports fans shout "SUCKS!" after the name of every starting Rays players was announced by Citizens Bank Park announcer Dan Baker Saturday night? Because WE wanted to give them a taste of THAT! Welcome to your nightmare, Fishboys.

A sports writer for the Edmonton Sun described the game this way: "The Phillies hit three solo home runs to edge the Tampa Bay Rays 5-4 before 45,900 fans, some of them sober. . ." Just imagine what he'll write about the parade down Broad Street. I suggest that "none" rhymes with "some."